I should be thankful it's not the toilet paper

Weighty Battles

Me: I dont want to get pregnant because then Ill be fat. 

Husband: I would have the baby if I could.

Me: So when I get pregnant, you have to gain the same amount of weight as I do.

Husband: No way. I dont want to be fat.

Me: It's not fair. Why do I have to be fat? Okay, 1/2 the weight.

Husband: No. I'm not gaining any weight.

Me: Okay then a quarter.

Husband: None.

SO SELFISH.

Baby steps

husband: im trying to be a nice person, like you taught me.

me: oh. and you're doing that by answering a text that your friend sent 3 hours later?

husband: yes.

...we're working on things. social competency is not his strong suit. 

The man himself

free time < blogging

Upon realizing his wife is an artist and can use paintshop pro:

Husband: It's disgusting that you have this amount of time during your work day to do this.

Me: Oh, I did it while you were at the gym.

Husband: Okay, well it's disgusting that you would have this amount of free time at any point in your day.

Guess he doesnt understand that he married an efficient, multitasking, reeses loving, blogging machine. Gotta keep his fans happy and coming back for seconds.  

view 2

maybe we should just get a studio apartment?

who needs a shoe rack?

clearly i put my own shoes away before i took this picture.