Weighty Battles

Me: I dont want to get pregnant because then Ill be fat. 

Husband: I would have the baby if I could.

Me: So when I get pregnant, you have to gain the same amount of weight as I do.

Husband: No way. I dont want to be fat.

Me: It's not fair. Why do I have to be fat? Okay, 1/2 the weight.

Husband: No. I'm not gaining any weight.

Me: Okay then a quarter.

Husband: None.

SO SELFISH.